her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Are my feet made of real feet?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
