Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
