hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
