If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
tell your sister to shave her snatch
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
