I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
splinters make it hard to masturbate
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
