put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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