I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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