The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
