You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
