is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
