seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
