tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
