Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
