Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize