I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
