I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I need to stop coming to work sober
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
