Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Who died my cat blue again?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
