Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
