"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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