I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
