i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
