If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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