I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
