he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
