Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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