girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
