Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
false alarm, still single
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
