i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
