im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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