I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
