not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
