But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
