I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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