ya dads aren't the best wingmen
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
