I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
