Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
