we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
bring money and cleavage
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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