hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
