I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
