meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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