i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
