so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
