Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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