bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
