the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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