just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm jealous of your bromance
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
