Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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