I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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