I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
