i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he shaved USA in his pubs
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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