yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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