end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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