so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
