there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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