margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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