Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
