Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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