Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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