Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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