I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
