just come out here and I will go home with you...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
